In Search of Friendship

Recently I spoke about the importance of a good friend in life. I firmly believe we are uniquely created to be in meaningful relationship. Too much of Scripture evidences this truth. God shaped us with a specific relational capacity – the ability to know intimacy (meaningful relationship) with God and with other people. Unfortunately, we typically spend too much of life in social and spiritual isolation without fully realizing what we’re missing. We need meaningful relationships in order to rightly exist. Not only does our emotional health depend upon it, so does our spiritual health. So how do I change from relative isolation to meaningful relationship? You must first recognize your need to be in relationship and consequently make the choice to seek connection. Consider these as you begin or fine-tune your search:

  • Pray asking God to reveal a potential friend or two. Ask Him for a name? Ask him to place someone in your path, a name on your heart, or for an opportunity to connect. Once you have a name, ask God for wisdom in the process.
  • Before you ever approach a potential friend, prepare for rejection. Not everyone you approach is a best candidate. Some are already connected in meaningful relationships, maybe the timing isn’t right, or perhaps he or she isn’t interested in developing a friendship with you. It’s really okay and you can survive rejection. Real friendship is reciprocal. If the other person isn’t interested in friendship, continue the search. Don’t let rejection deter your search.
  • Take the first step and risk an introduction. Don’t wait for someone else to approach you regarding friendship, act first. We can sit around waiting a long time for nothing to happen, so make something happen and introduce yourself to others.
  • Discover a venue that invites conversation. Invite someone for coffee at Starbucks (a personal favorite) or meet up at Barnes & Noble. Maybe grab a quick sandwich at Red Robin or a dessert at Panera Bread Company. Find a place where discussion can happen. Invite a potential friend to play basketball, catch a sporting event, or workout at the Rec Center. Find a non-threatening place to get a conversation going. The dialogue will tell you much about the possibility of friendship.
  • In the process of getting acquainted, foster opportunities to know each other. As you talk, look for commonalities, interests, differences, and backgrounds. What’s their story? Share your story. Is there a connection or potential friendship? If there is, continue the conversation while developing the connection.
Our lives are full of acquaintances, but in sore need of friends.

2 thoughts on “In Search of Friendship

  1. Brenda Sanders

    Do you mea to become friends too with people that are unsaved and we can eventually lead them to Christ in salvation. My Father is a member of Hyles Baptist in Chesterfield. It is a Independent Baptist church. They go out soul-winning on Sat. mornings. My Dad hands out gospel tracts from his church and witnesses to others everywhere he goes. He used to own a TV business and would witness to his customers. He is 86 now and is still going strong. I have led a few people to the Lord and I hand out tracts, (I wish we had tracts from our church with the church name and phone number) I pray to the Lord that I can become more like my Dad and lead more people to Christ. Mark 16:16 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. Prayers and God Bless, Brenda Sanders

  2. Brad Hoffmann

    Hey Brenda, I think you can certainly use some of these tips in developing relationships with non-Christians. But, I think it’s really important for us to develop relationships with fellow believers. By developing meaningful relationships or friendships other believers, it goes a long way to strengthening us. A strong you is an effective witness for an unbeliever. Just a thought. Appreciate the comment!

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